I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
