Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
