96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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