She's JV to your varsity
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
