I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
