the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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