so explain again why im purple
no
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize