i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
