i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
