in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
