can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
