I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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