Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize