The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize