Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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