for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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