I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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