She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
