just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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