Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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