yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
