yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
These tits shall not be calmed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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