At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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