How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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