found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dignity is for republicans.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
