Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
