Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
