I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
