You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
