look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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