she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
