Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize