but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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