Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
