I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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