I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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