I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize