"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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