Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
