weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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