that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
