when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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