i may or may not be watching the land before time
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
