I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
