That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
