I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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