i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize