if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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