Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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