when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
