That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
