So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need moral support for this bender
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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