I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
