He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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