So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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