you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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